radioactive

No, not kidding..we went to the PET scan this morning...were there a couple hours. They wouldn't let Danny ride next to me in the car on the way home..he rode in the backseat! He'll be radioactive 'til tonight. Really? Are you joking? Ahhhhh, fun, fun. Rather tired today...mostly from the stress. Already looking very forward to the weekend!!

We'll find in soon about results..praying that it has not spread anywhere else and only a short treatment plan would be needed!

monday...

Had a great weekend, Danny made shelves for baby nursery. Went to church..think that was about it. I love staying home anyway, though. Busy day today, homeschool, errands, cleaning, baking..usual stuff. (thank goodness).

Tomorrow, PET scan. Praying now...

now we know...where to go from here

The weather is starting to change..I'm praying it brings hope, healing, new life and renewal.

We got the results of the biopsy..Hodgkin's. We have yet another test in 2 weeks (although they're trying for a sooner opening) to determine exactly how much treatment. Either way he'll need chemo. Hopefully, it hasn't spread anywhere and it'll be a short treatment. This is not what we prayed for..(I actually prayed that everyone was wrong and it was nothing). But, we will continue to rely on God for guidance and to get whatever it is that we are supposed to learn from this. Please continue the prayers, they work and we can feel them. Danny is, as usual, very level headed and handling things well. Everyone, from the oncologist to the nurses to the billing staff (can you believe?) have been amazing, optimistic and, well, very compassionate. My mom asked if they were southern (you would think so!). Anyway, we are very thankful. If we have to go through this, this is the team we want and need.

We got home and Danny went to a job site to "bang on things" (very healthy attitude, I thought). When I get the car....I'm going shopping (retail therapy). See....we're handling things very well. LOL

Please continue to pray for us...thank you ;-)

Tuesday

Busy day..Derek got accepted to Bethel, so this afternoon we go to register him, only for 2 classes for fall. But, it'll keep him busy.

Rough week in parenting..yes, I know it's only Tuesday.

We go in the morning to find out results of last week....praying, praying and praying.....

weekends

Sitting here Sunday afternoon...had great weekend..bought diapers!!! I know you're all thinking WOW they are soooo exciting! LOL, I thought it was very exciting to buy babies first diapers. :-)
We did that Saturday after having chocolate pancakes while listening to Derek teaching MacKenzie fractions...ahhhhh!! There are advantages in having big age differences between kids.

Went to church today, love listening to Mark (pastor) speak. MacKenzie had friends there today, so she was very excited. Derek's at movies with cousins, MacKenzie and Danny went on bike ride to the ND soccer game...I washed baby cloths in mallow baby soap...again, I KNOW you're all giddy with excitement.

(also, we've had several people ask about where we're registered for baby...we're on amazon.com and thank you for asking :-)

I'm sitting here writing, Danny's getting corn on the cob ready for our cookout, organic chicken brats, and salad. (I've been extra picky about what we're eating) And, MacKenzie's doing homeschool on the computer...ummm perhaps I should be helping! LOL

We find out later in the week about Danny........please continue to pray...as I'm praying for false alarm...

design

Well, today relaxing (kinda) from the stress of this week. Doing alot of design research. I have talent, ambition...seem to lack the ability of HOW to put it all together to get paid at it, LOL. I'm crazy busy, designing, helping with personal shopping stuff (mostly kid's stuff, which I enjoy). So brainstorming ideas for that...

Decided things are too hectic to change rooms for everyone now..going to make the addition in our room the nursery for the baby. For now. Then he'll have the bedroom upstairs and Derek'll get the basement room (which is perfect for a teen). So, going to work on that, which poses a small problem..in which we don't actually have any baby "stuff" to put in there! LOL I'm sure I'll come up with something or at least some ideas to work towards. Found a great site for art..very affordable. http://www.trendypeas.com/ And, think Danny could build some book ledges for displaying and holding picture books, which I love to decorate with. I'll post pics for everyone.

Wednesday hurdle

Ok...never slept Tuesday night..at all. The staff at Memorial was great, the Dr. was great...they took what was a very stressful situation for us and made it the best possible. Very thankful for that. Everything went great, we were there a total of about 4 hrs. It only took about 15 minutes for the actual surgery! Back home early afternoon. The kids were great and MacKenzie had decorated a poster and windows...very thoughtful. Derek too, of course.

The waiting begins I suppose.....we won't know anything for about a week. That's ok, I think. I...we need the break. Still praying...........

I took in papers to Bethel today for Derek. He's excited, we got a class schedule..most of the classes are during the day..I thought there would be more classes offered at night...(um....I think I need another car!) We'll figure it out I'm sure. LOL

We have gotten lots of emails, calls and messages from friends and family praying for us....THANK YOU!! Please continue to pray.

waiting

Not much today..cleaned all day, now I'm baking cookies for Danny when he gets home. He has biopsy at 10am. I don't really handle things like that very well, very stressful, but, just taking each thing as it comes. All I can do I suppose. We would appreciate your prayers for tomorrow and I'll update everyone as soon as we get home.

church

Went went to church this weekend. I like going, I have such a hard time sitting there though...tears just stream down my face and I can't seem to stop them. So many questions and stress.

We had a good weekend. Didn't get alot accomplished but, we had fun. Really that's what matters anyway. I'm so very tired most of the time, I don't really think it's from the pregnancy, think it's mostly stress. I tend to want to sleep when I get overstressed and I think this qualifies. Danny has a biopsy Wednesday. Nervous about that. From there we'll know where to go and what exactly is wrong. Please continue to pray and keep us in mind. They are so appreciated.

Almost the weekend!

Today we have a meeting with medicaid...should be loads of fun. NOT. Lots to do today, need to make sure everything is in for Derek to start college! No idea how I'll pay for it yet..

Still thinking about having a baby shower..I suppose it would be stress I don't need right now?

Yet, another article today on early puberty for girls. I've known about this since MacKenzie was little. We don't buy regular milk (we buy organic or Silk) and watch the meat intake. (really hard to do when you don't have money). All while given weird looks, and rolling of the eyes by family. This is ALL connected the chemicals in our environment, in our FOOD! We live in a toxic world, we need to do everything we can as parents to be aware of this. Fight and stand up for a better food system. The cancer rates are soaring (as we know all to well). Is everything about money. Why are things not done for benefiting man (and woman ;-) kind?? I know it would be more helpful and probably better for my sanity if I just didn't think about this. But, with children, what we are going through, and a NEW baby on the way, don't I owe it to my family?

Hey, this is super, went to the medicaid office, apparently they say we're not eligible for ANYTHING!!! REALLY??? Are you kidding me? So, a secret, apparently everyone else perhaps already knows...there is no middle. You either make alot of money and the appropriate insurance through your work. Or you make nothing and collect every sort of help there is. There is no middle. People who have the ability and desire to work and bring home some sort of paycheck....those people are not rewarded for their efforts. People who can't get out of the "pit"...people who don't work at all or do anything. THOSE people are helped. Ohhhhhhhh, the woes of our "system". Why is this how things are done? Who the heck is this REALLY supposed to benefit?? and where is the nearest bridge?? (she says only half kidding) So what?...no one really cares? That answer is very clear. What is this?...Let's see how much stress they can handle??

The picture I posted on the post is Danny making the pool a wave pool!! What you can't tell by the picture is how hard MacKenzie was laughing! My husbands grace and patience inspires me beyond words..it always has. Now more than ever though. (the picture is after the stressful meeting today.)

Focus 2

Things went good yesterday at the surgeons office, they'll schedule something within the next week...

Came home and played with Mac in the pool, while I sat outside. Dinner, then they all went on bike ride, I got stuff done around the house.

We're having a hard time understanding people who still smoke around him? On the last family(his family) outing, everyone smoked around me...6 months pregnant..don't really know why? Even if you don't read, isn't there constant info on tv about smoking?? So...I suppose we should not be surprised when they smoke around him...but, I am. Why would you do that? Are you that dense?? These are questions yet to be answered...

Focus

Trying to distract myself today with housework, homeschool...later today is the consultation with the surgeon for the biopsy. Not fun stuff.

I know people mean well, but, they sure come out of the woodwork with ideas of instant healing..."take a teaspoon of red cloves you'll be healed in 9 weeks"...Really?? Cause I"m pretty sure if that were true, it'd be known..would be amazing if it were so..but...
I know that they're trying to be helpful and they're not trying to be insulting. (I'm trying to be nice here.)

Anyone who knows me, knows that I am well versed in the harmful chemicals in our foods, parabens and other toxins in products from baby lotion, shampoo, to make up. And as often as I can afford it, I make our purchases accordingly. Organic fruits whenever possible, and so on. I loathe microwaves, very picky about what we eat and put on our bodies. I tend to be the "odd" one of my husbands family. (something I'm VERY proud of, LOL) Clearly, they don't know us, like I thought.

That's ok, my focus (as my mom reminded me) is Danny, kids, baby, FUN, laughter, of course our relationship with God. HEALING.

Looking forward to the weekend..where that'll be the focus...FUN!!!

tuesday

Sun came out yesterday afternoon, got in the pool with MacKenzie..very nice, I weigh less in the water, LOL, so that's good. Had good dinner and Danny and the kids went on a bike ride.

Don't sleep very well, hard to get comfortable (baby's getting bigger) and with everything on my mind. So got up early with Danny...didn't go back to bed. Sooo, here it is 8:30am and I'm ready for a nap! Did some "research" this morning...that could also contribute to me wanting to go back to bed. It's all so overwhelming.

Ordered a book..Anti-cancer-a new way of life. Should get here today. Waiting to hear from medicaid..to see if we qualify (how could we not?)

My mom sent me a website today..this was the first story I clicked on...needless to say I cried..doesn't take alot these days..

Feel like I've been hit by a truck today..sorry if my thoughts aren't coming out smoothly on paper..hard to focus.

Is this the calm before the storm? Praying for a light storm...perhaps just a drizzle.

mondays

I love the weekend, places are closed on the weekend, everything and everybody is busy. Such nice distractions. Today is back to homeschool, and cleaning the house, it's cloudy and suppose to rain today..so won't get the distraction of being outside.

We all had a great weekend, very positive attitudes coming from both Danny and myself. We were outside alot..one of our favorite places to be. Swimming, bike riding and cookout with very good friends. Ate good this weekend as well..very light. Made some tea..green tea with ginseng.

Went to church yesterday..Rob(pastor) talked about interventions...and intervening on someones life...what if you're the one who needs the intervention?? Do you ask or pray for it??

We are very thankful for friends and family who are praying for Danny and our family. Please continue!!

Weekend

Rented Whimpy Kid movie last night..very funny, nice to laugh. This morning, hanging out with Danny and the kids. Discussed baby names this morning over pancake breakfast..thankful to have something fun to discuss. Although, some of the names were not appreciated...no, we don't want to name the baby Quinny the Pooh...(MacKenzie's idea)

Working on the house today...leaky faucet..stuff like that. Bike ride later..gotta look at my bike breaks...desperately need a new bike..that of course will have to wait. They go to Notre Dame all the time..I usually just don't go.

Danny and I are doing good with our thoughts and attitude, while the questions of next week loom over us. Wish it was just a bad dream and I'd wake up. We'll just take it piece by piece and get through it. Please continue to pray....ALOT. Perhaps post our name on your frig...as not to forget you know. ;-) We can feel them.

Starting homeschool

Well, we started homeschool early this week..mostly so we can take off when needed. Nice to know. Filled out papers and applications this week for my 15 year old to go to college! Good start..my 5th grader hasn't forgotten to much over the summer. We are big readers anyway.

Hard not to think about "things"...it crept into my dreams this morning. Not appreciated! Gotta boot that out. So very thankful for the friends and family that have emailed or posted thoughts and prayers coming our way.

Part of thankfulness is not complaining... so, I am so thankful for my husband..his attitude and faithfulness. So thankful for my kids who are much better people than I am. Thankful for our friends, for our family, for our church. Thankful, today I go grocery shopping! Thankful it's a gorgeous sunny day out. Thankful for the baby kicking me right now. (perhaps, some light at the end of the tunnel)

Mommie Blog

Well, I have to say, I wanted to start a new blog...a mommie blog. You know those ones where the stay at home mamma talks about her great kids all the time. Being pregnant at 38, with a 10 year old daughter and a soon to be 16 year old son. Thought it would be cool. You know being pregnant after basically 10 years of trying...or at least not, not trying, LOL. Six months pregnant a little nervous and quite irritated with family members who have paid absolutely no attention to the fact that we're pregnant. I had envisioned lovely luncheons and outings family calling me to do baby shopping and coffee...(decaf of course ;-) That of course, has yet to happen.

We've had major job and finance issues over the past year..LOL, longer I think. Seems to be one thing after another. But, nothing could have prepared me for what happened 2 days ago...we took my husband to the ER for what we thought was a hernia...it was not, we've been told he has lymphoma..they don't know what kind yet. More tests next week. How do you handle this? My husband who does everything for everybody..and asks nothing in return, my husband who is incredibly caring and sweet, who works out on a daily basis, not overweight, doesn't smoke...the words why and frankly "what the heck" come to mind. Not fair. Yes, yes, I know..that's what they say, life's not fair. Don't recall signing up for that?!

We have a positive attitude and outlook. (while of course being terrified). We have no insurance, very little money coming in...don't know whether to laugh or throw myself off a bridge at this point, LOL. We believe in the power of prayer..after all if more than 1 asks and asks together..He'll listen right?? So if you've read this far...(don't worry, I'm almost done ranting) Please pray for my husband, kids and maybe me if you have a minute. God hears us...I do prefer we be really LOUD though.

I didn't start this blog to whine..so don't be afraid to read again, started it to maybe keep myself sane during this awful time.