Merry Christmas!

It's Christmas day..I shouldn't even be on the computer..so I'll just be a sec. I am so thankful for the way God has provided a very nice Christmas for our kids..for us. I was so worried (I know, shouldn't worry) but, I was..I know stuff is stuff and my kids aren't materialistic but, every parent wants a nice Christmas for their kids..anyway, I am so incredibly thankful to my family and wonderful friends for their thoughtfulness and taking to time to think of us this holiday season. I wish I had a more eloquent way to put it.. tears come to my eyes when I think of what everyone has done. and the constant emails and notes to say they are thinking of us...blessed.

I opened my new devotions book my mom so conveniently "forgot" to take back with her..today's devotion...

-if we are in the will of God, He will always bring provision to us. We don't have to try to chase it down; it will seek us out. We don't have to try to make things happen; God will bring them to us.
-When we begin to believe this, we are free to cast our care upon Him. We don't have to stay up all night fretting and worrying, trying to figure out what to do to take care of ourselves. We can simply deposit ourselves with God. -Joyce Meyer

Have a wonderful and blessed Christmas!!

Christmas week

A few days til Christmas. Mom left today, she has been a great help (still don't know how I'm so busy). Derek is reading and MacKenzie is singing to Taylor Swift...maybe Derek's not reading. Kind of loud upstairs.. I'm baking and Noah is sleeping..ahhhh, sounds nice! :-)




I went to church Sunday, hadn't been in a while, stood in the back. It was the first time I felt "calm" in..well, since I can remember. Finally had a glimpse of real Christmas. Please keep prayers coming for Danny of course but, for me to find what I'm missing.

Almost Christmas

Danny had 8th treatment this morning and taking a nap now..(4 left) My mom made him chicken soup, MacKenzie played with Noah and Derek helped clean the house with me. I'm having a good day (other than Danny feeling bad :-( Getting ready to bake cookies.. I have tried so hard this holiday season to get in the festive mood..hasn't really worked so far. Usually I'm very much in the mood from Thanksgiving til about New Years! LOL. Trying to fake it for the kids..

Working mostly on my attitude this week. I can be quite whiny...which of course NO one wants to hear (mostly me), doesn't accomplish anything, and is just plain annoying. I've waited to be in a good mood to write...yes, this is me in a good mood. LOL Need purpose...

What is on your Christmas list? Mine other than the obvious..a super great job for Danny and friends :-)

Friday...Ahhhhh!

Well, today I desperately need a nap! Noah is doing great..but, I'm still not getting enough sleep.

Busy week...slammed into curb trying to take kids to Barnes and Noble..was only going 5 miles an hour in mall parking lot so not sure how that happened. Anyway, thought it would be ok...but, it's losing air now..so, have to call around today...

MacKenzie told Danny he looked like Dr. Evil (she's not even seen the movie)...it's not really the look he was going for, heee heeeee ;-)

Happy Weekend, everyone!!

Christmas party, birthday, Danny oh my!

Still so busy! I can't believe Noah is going to be 4 weeks tomorrow! He's getting bigger and ohhhh soooo sweet.

Danny had his 7th treatment last Friday...although now I'm counting down instead of up...sooo 5 left. He did good, lots of distractions this weekend, so that helps. He has a very stylish new hair cut..it's the Vin Diesel / Tim Stevens look ;-)



We went to our favorite Christmas party this weekend..it's our favorite we go every year...horses, Christmas tree, friends, and quiet. Fun for all of us.




Ok..cannot believe Christmas is almost here! I love Christmas and the traditions of the season..part of me, with everything going on, doesn't feel Christmassy though.. trying to do fun things with the kids (without the shopping) lots of baking and making things. As a parent, we want everything to be perfect.




Today we are getting ready for Danny's birthday tomorrow..having spaghetti and his favorite cookies..peanut butter kisses. He is truly the most amazing husband and the best daddy ever.

A very thankful Thanksgiving.

I've been waiting for this moment of brilliance to write and update. Waiting for a moment that I'm not sleep deprived and utterly exhausted.. since this appears to not be anytime soon. I'll just update everyone hoping it makes sense...hard to do on little to no sleep. Don't bother fixing my grammar and spelling for this post..as I do not have time to answer the email or fix it. I have thank you cards that have not been sent out, (much less written..thinking about it though..does that count? Emails that have not been returned and facebook messages that I've scarcely had time to look at.) And the phone keeps blinking at me.

After only a few days of baby being here, Danny had pain with his lungs..a eccocardio gram and chest CT was ordered by Dr. They showed GREAT news! His heart looks great, and CT shows cancer all but gone!! Which means treatment is working!! Thank God! It does mean though that the treatment should continue. 6 more to go... His platelets were low last week...so treatment was delayed 'til next week..also has to do with holidays too...

Happy Thanksgiving, yes, indeed a very happy Thanksgiving. We have very much to be thankful for. Too many to put on this post I'm sure. Very thankful that Danny is healing, thankful that Noah is here, thankful for Derek and MacKenzie, and thankful my mom is staying with us to help.




Got out the Christmas decorations today. Looks lovely. Very excited to bake and makes things with the kids. Not going to be much in way of material gifts..but, it will be most special indeed!

Light!

This is a quick post..never been so busy!!



Noah Reed was born on November 10, at 1:03 in the morning!! He is so amazing!
7 pounds. We were at the hospital for 22 hours..nurses and midwife were so great and so very kind. We wanted it just to be us and kinda of quite event and they were so accommodating. They also let us leave early..due to everything else going on..
Noah is very laid back and VERY alert...truly a blessing...I just don't have words for what we feel right now..I feel like he is the light at the end of our tunnel..does that make any sense? Danny is just smitten and the kids are in awe. I am in love.



I'll put some picture up..maybe that'll say it better. I'll write more later..Danny had 6th treatment today..so continued prayers please :-)

Love Saturdays!

First snowfall of the season, I needed a change. It's beautiful, makes me smile. Having a good morning...Danny's making pumpkin and chocolate pancakes. All the while listening to Mac sing to Taylor Swift...lovely morning:-)

Relaxing today...

Last night was girlie night with Mac, Twilight and homemade brownies with frosting. What could be better :-)

frustrated

What do you do when everything falls apart at once. How much can one person stand before nervous breakdown comes into your vocabulary? Before you're just numb.

Yes, I have so much to be thankful for, and yes, I'm trying to focus on those things. But, everytime I feel like I have some sort of "grip" on things...something else happens. Somethings...like the financial stuff...I'm sure you don't want to hear about. (I don't, LOL)

Any suggestions on coping (without falling apart) I would appreciate. And yes, I pray...multiple times a day...perhaps I'm doing it wrong though. Suggestions?

Halloween

Well, Thursday was the fifth treatment..geez, gets so much harder every time and we have 7 left. Please continue to pray with us. So much harder on his stomach and his tastes are changing.





We had a good weekend, movies, video games and playing. Not much on Halloween, I think I have enough "scary" right now. Kids had fun, not much for trick or treating..but, we watched Lord of the Rings and had caramel sliced apples and homemade spaghetti.




MacKenzie the snowboarder

Busy

Busy week last week.. So much to do. Found a great family for one of our doggies...very hard to let him go..need to let another one go. Might need a couple days to think about that..

Had appointments this week..another shot for Danny. He's doing good, his attitude could not be better. He inspires me. A little bit of sore throat Friday night..makes us nervous..took lots of vitamin C this weekend, chicken soup and didn't go out at all. Feels fine..no sore throat. Yay.

I had baby appointment..everything fine..had the most amazing midwife. She talked to me about everything going on for a hour..(I'm sure she had better things to do) but, it meant so much to me and made me feel better.

Suppose I need to write on my blog when I'm not in a hurry...but, so hard to focus on much of anything lately...so I just write as fast as I can...yes, I'm sure you're surprised.

Listening to MacKenzie playing last night and this morning..with her Littlest Pets..about one of them being pregnant..no money..food..and taking care of Daddy so he doesn't catch a cold...ummmmm...think I'll keep an eye on this.. LOL. The kids are doing good though. We always talk about everything so they ask questions whenever they want or think of them.

Very thankful this week for Danny and the kids..for baby on the way..SOON..for the amazing pumpkin, chocolate pancakes Danny made Sunday morning. Thankful that Danny is feeling good and didn't get a cold. Thankful everytime..(which is often) that the kids laugh. For their good attitudes and hearts.

Thank you again for your continued prayers and messages through email and fb. :-)

4 down!!

It's late so writing a short note tonight. Fourth chemo today...getting harder. The past week has been a little harder on Danny. Doesn't feel great. Relaxing this weekend. Rent a movie..stuff like that.

Everything else is going ok. Getting ready for baby, although..still don't think everything is ready...

Ok...that's it for tonight...can't stay awake and have dishes and laundry to finish up. Please continue to pray for Danny/us. Also, for all the nurses, Dr. and everyone at the cancer center...they are wonderful and very inspirational to us.

16 years old!!

Big week...can't believe Derek is going to be 16 tomorrow! Can't believe alot of things right now...

It's not quite the event I was hoping for..you know the "typical" get a car for your 16th birthday and have big party. Yes, I know lots of people can't do that. But, as a parent we soooo want the very best for our kids. Especially when they are so responsible, compassionate, faithful and well behaved.

Very low key this year, we're going to have his favorites, tacos, chocolate cake from scratch..(never done that..keep your fingers crossed) and mostly just hanging out here. Can't really go out too much anymore...

Please continue to keep Danny/us in your prayers..he is quite frustrated with not feeling good and not being able to do what he usually does, money (or lack of). Anyway, we still need them..very over whelming.

Third treatment

Ahhh, beginning to not care for Thursdays. Danny had third treatment this morning...roughest one..the iv was driving him crazy, room was cold..just some "little" things...they add up when your stress level is so high. The nurses are great..same ones every time and we like them very much. We had an appointment with the nutritionist this morning when we first got there...she is really great, except for we kinda already have more knowledge than most on foods..she was impressed! LOL

Doing ok now, just relaxing after a nice lunch here. Hoping he feels good this weekend.

I've had a somewhat of a rough week..perhaps just pregnancy hormones, or the sheer amount of stress..? When everything piles up..bills, major money issues, sickness...when it is all at once..it is so hard to see through it, to see the "light" at the end of the tunnel. What do you do when things seem to be getting more stressful rather than letting up?? What do you do when you think maybe God is not currently listening to you.. Am I not learning something I am supposed to? Is He waiting for me to do something? Is he is waiting to answer? I have no doubt that at anytime God could change things...job situation, cancer healed, money issues easing up...but, it's questions like what if He doesn't answer, or how long? It's best if those questions are pushed to the back of your thoughts..but, sometimes they are too much.

Weekend is here!

Weekend is here! Danny had another shot yesterday...hoping he doesn't get awful sore like last time, the shot is to boost white blood cells. Which weren't bad at all...they just want to keep them up so he can stay on his treatment schedule. Otherwise, Danny is doing good this week...yayyyy!! Very thankful!

Home game this weekend (football), women's soccer game, chili, great friend coming home from working out of the country...perhaps doing something in baby nursery...very excited!

Kids have been busy with tennis and homeschool. MacKenzie has started The Lion, the witch and the wardrobe and Derek is reading Little Women. :-) He likes to read the classics along with his regular reading. The are coping very well with everything, we have very open communication in our family.

We got awesome blankies and baby tub this week! (Thank you, thank you to my aunt!!) We're almost ready for him...should we have a girls name too just in case??

Happy weekend to everyone :-)

Nursery too

I have had a very rough couple of days...well..we all have. So, feeling better (mentally) today...MacKenzie and I sewed a couple of burp cloths and a pack n play sheet! It fits...yes, I am surprised, and quite proud of myself! Looks great. So, I'll not whine or be fussy in this post..my mom got most of that on the phone. She may need a drink, LOL. I'll just post a couple of pics.

Nursery!

Happy weekend...Danny not really feeling great this weekend..seems to be harder on his stomach this time

Soooo...Danny painted the pic in the nursery...and I put chili in the crockpot while waiting for football to start tonight. I get to wash baby blankies! Danny did such a great job! Hope you like..

Second chemo

Yesterday was second chemo treatment. I went and got the kids halfway through...MacKenzie now knows what's going on...the basics anyway. She did very good, met the nurses and sat with Danny. She was very fascinated with the comfy chair that moves with pushing the button. Kids are great! The nurses all stopped in to meet her. Derek came, wanted to just hang out in waiting room and read. Which is totally fine with us.


Danny is feeling ok (better than last time) VERY tired though and kinda hit by a truck feeling. Going to relax this weekend, hopefully gets something done to get ready for baby. Getting closer.. And hoping to go to church this weekend.

We appreciate continued prayers...right now, along with healing for Danny and a healthy baby, I'm praying for Danny a job, (an inside job)

tuesday..

Well, Saturday Danny got up and could hardly walk..the shot that boosts your white blood cells, they said there could be soreness...yeah, really? They weren't kidding!! So we pretty much just hung out all weekend. He couldn't really do much..sooooo unlike him. Sunday, we went to church.. it was great..on worry! (how did they know?) not really supposed to because of all the people. But, we sat in the back and left before everyone else got up to leave. I used to think people who did that were rude and disrespectful...perhaps I should mind my own business...maybe one of them is on chemo and doesn't want extra germs!

Monday, ran seemingly endless errands..mostly paperwork stuff. Still not done. He has 2nd treatment on Thursday...I can feel my anxiety already. Knowing he won't feel good this weekend.... last Friday he had just started to feel "normal" again (1 1/2 weeks after 1st treatment).

Today, is baking, cleaning and laundry. Normal stuff..very thankful.

Going good

Danny had first appointment since chemo...they check his blood counts..(very tired of people poking him! ) Everything is good..his white count was a little low..not very much though. Had a shot to boost it, so he can stay on treatment schedule. He's tired, alot, but, doing well this week. Very thankful for that! Still working on mountains of paperwork for financial help and health care, seems to be ongoing.

We're going to work on baby's room today..well it's really part of our room. But, nice he has his own space. Perhaps I'll wash more baby clothes and blankies?? ;-)

Also, working on finding families for 2 of our doggies! If you or know someone let me know. They all cannot stay. It's just too much for us..(ok...me)

Thank you all for your prayers, messages and calls. We still need them (lots of them), so please continue to keep us in your prayers. Have a great weekend! I'm cooking chili again tomorrow!!...Game day!

Labor Day weekend

Saturday was the best day we've had in a very long time. Cooler weather is here, made chili in the crockpot, and watched the first Notre Dame game of the season. Not that I'm into football..but, like the atmosphere of it. And it makes Danny happy...soooo.

Had a good day Monday too, Labor day, I forgot is was a holiday weekend...perhaps I have too much on my mind...you think??

Danny is doing good.

Getting any sort of help, is, well awful. Everyone wants to know...how are you paying for this? (if I only knew) I have no answers as of now...tried to explain situation to a finance person today..(for my pregnancy)...she said something like...don't need to explain the gory details..are you kidding me?? I was trying to explain my family situation..geez, lady..really?

Anyway, I like weekends, no appointments..no phone calls...it's quite lovely actually. Perhaps they could change the weekend to 5 days a week.

It begins

Went to oncologist this morning to get results of PET scan...we...I say we 'cause he and I are in it together, started chemo today....the stress of doing this is unbelievable. And unless you've been through this...well, don't ever say "I know how you feel"...trust me...you don't.

The staff...once again..amazing! Could not ask for nicer, more compassionate people. So very, very thankful for them and their attitude. Danny is doing good..think he's starting to feel the affects of the "treatment"...I'll keep you posted. The words "therapy" and "treatment"...doesn't that sounds like it should make you feel better? or be "therapeutic"...Maybe that's just me.

On the way home...we stopped and got ginger candies and new vitamins. (he takes them anyway).

Please pray for him...for the kids...they are handling things well so far...Pray for new baby too...hopefully he can't feel the stress.

radioactive

No, not kidding..we went to the PET scan this morning...were there a couple hours. They wouldn't let Danny ride next to me in the car on the way home..he rode in the backseat! He'll be radioactive 'til tonight. Really? Are you joking? Ahhhhh, fun, fun. Rather tired today...mostly from the stress. Already looking very forward to the weekend!!

We'll find in soon about results..praying that it has not spread anywhere else and only a short treatment plan would be needed!

monday...

Had a great weekend, Danny made shelves for baby nursery. Went to church..think that was about it. I love staying home anyway, though. Busy day today, homeschool, errands, cleaning, baking..usual stuff. (thank goodness).

Tomorrow, PET scan. Praying now...

now we know...where to go from here

The weather is starting to change..I'm praying it brings hope, healing, new life and renewal.

We got the results of the biopsy..Hodgkin's. We have yet another test in 2 weeks (although they're trying for a sooner opening) to determine exactly how much treatment. Either way he'll need chemo. Hopefully, it hasn't spread anywhere and it'll be a short treatment. This is not what we prayed for..(I actually prayed that everyone was wrong and it was nothing). But, we will continue to rely on God for guidance and to get whatever it is that we are supposed to learn from this. Please continue the prayers, they work and we can feel them. Danny is, as usual, very level headed and handling things well. Everyone, from the oncologist to the nurses to the billing staff (can you believe?) have been amazing, optimistic and, well, very compassionate. My mom asked if they were southern (you would think so!). Anyway, we are very thankful. If we have to go through this, this is the team we want and need.

We got home and Danny went to a job site to "bang on things" (very healthy attitude, I thought). When I get the car....I'm going shopping (retail therapy). See....we're handling things very well. LOL

Please continue to pray for us...thank you ;-)

Tuesday

Busy day..Derek got accepted to Bethel, so this afternoon we go to register him, only for 2 classes for fall. But, it'll keep him busy.

Rough week in parenting..yes, I know it's only Tuesday.

We go in the morning to find out results of last week....praying, praying and praying.....

weekends

Sitting here Sunday afternoon...had great weekend..bought diapers!!! I know you're all thinking WOW they are soooo exciting! LOL, I thought it was very exciting to buy babies first diapers. :-)
We did that Saturday after having chocolate pancakes while listening to Derek teaching MacKenzie fractions...ahhhhh!! There are advantages in having big age differences between kids.

Went to church today, love listening to Mark (pastor) speak. MacKenzie had friends there today, so she was very excited. Derek's at movies with cousins, MacKenzie and Danny went on bike ride to the ND soccer game...I washed baby cloths in mallow baby soap...again, I KNOW you're all giddy with excitement.

(also, we've had several people ask about where we're registered for baby...we're on amazon.com and thank you for asking :-)

I'm sitting here writing, Danny's getting corn on the cob ready for our cookout, organic chicken brats, and salad. (I've been extra picky about what we're eating) And, MacKenzie's doing homeschool on the computer...ummm perhaps I should be helping! LOL

We find out later in the week about Danny........please continue to pray...as I'm praying for false alarm...

design

Well, today relaxing (kinda) from the stress of this week. Doing alot of design research. I have talent, ambition...seem to lack the ability of HOW to put it all together to get paid at it, LOL. I'm crazy busy, designing, helping with personal shopping stuff (mostly kid's stuff, which I enjoy). So brainstorming ideas for that...

Decided things are too hectic to change rooms for everyone now..going to make the addition in our room the nursery for the baby. For now. Then he'll have the bedroom upstairs and Derek'll get the basement room (which is perfect for a teen). So, going to work on that, which poses a small problem..in which we don't actually have any baby "stuff" to put in there! LOL I'm sure I'll come up with something or at least some ideas to work towards. Found a great site for art..very affordable. http://www.trendypeas.com/ And, think Danny could build some book ledges for displaying and holding picture books, which I love to decorate with. I'll post pics for everyone.

Wednesday hurdle

Ok...never slept Tuesday night..at all. The staff at Memorial was great, the Dr. was great...they took what was a very stressful situation for us and made it the best possible. Very thankful for that. Everything went great, we were there a total of about 4 hrs. It only took about 15 minutes for the actual surgery! Back home early afternoon. The kids were great and MacKenzie had decorated a poster and windows...very thoughtful. Derek too, of course.

The waiting begins I suppose.....we won't know anything for about a week. That's ok, I think. I...we need the break. Still praying...........

I took in papers to Bethel today for Derek. He's excited, we got a class schedule..most of the classes are during the day..I thought there would be more classes offered at night...(um....I think I need another car!) We'll figure it out I'm sure. LOL

We have gotten lots of emails, calls and messages from friends and family praying for us....THANK YOU!! Please continue to pray.

waiting

Not much today..cleaned all day, now I'm baking cookies for Danny when he gets home. He has biopsy at 10am. I don't really handle things like that very well, very stressful, but, just taking each thing as it comes. All I can do I suppose. We would appreciate your prayers for tomorrow and I'll update everyone as soon as we get home.

church

Went went to church this weekend. I like going, I have such a hard time sitting there though...tears just stream down my face and I can't seem to stop them. So many questions and stress.

We had a good weekend. Didn't get alot accomplished but, we had fun. Really that's what matters anyway. I'm so very tired most of the time, I don't really think it's from the pregnancy, think it's mostly stress. I tend to want to sleep when I get overstressed and I think this qualifies. Danny has a biopsy Wednesday. Nervous about that. From there we'll know where to go and what exactly is wrong. Please continue to pray and keep us in mind. They are so appreciated.

Almost the weekend!

Today we have a meeting with medicaid...should be loads of fun. NOT. Lots to do today, need to make sure everything is in for Derek to start college! No idea how I'll pay for it yet..

Still thinking about having a baby shower..I suppose it would be stress I don't need right now?

Yet, another article today on early puberty for girls. I've known about this since MacKenzie was little. We don't buy regular milk (we buy organic or Silk) and watch the meat intake. (really hard to do when you don't have money). All while given weird looks, and rolling of the eyes by family. This is ALL connected the chemicals in our environment, in our FOOD! We live in a toxic world, we need to do everything we can as parents to be aware of this. Fight and stand up for a better food system. The cancer rates are soaring (as we know all to well). Is everything about money. Why are things not done for benefiting man (and woman ;-) kind?? I know it would be more helpful and probably better for my sanity if I just didn't think about this. But, with children, what we are going through, and a NEW baby on the way, don't I owe it to my family?

Hey, this is super, went to the medicaid office, apparently they say we're not eligible for ANYTHING!!! REALLY??? Are you kidding me? So, a secret, apparently everyone else perhaps already knows...there is no middle. You either make alot of money and the appropriate insurance through your work. Or you make nothing and collect every sort of help there is. There is no middle. People who have the ability and desire to work and bring home some sort of paycheck....those people are not rewarded for their efforts. People who can't get out of the "pit"...people who don't work at all or do anything. THOSE people are helped. Ohhhhhhhh, the woes of our "system". Why is this how things are done? Who the heck is this REALLY supposed to benefit?? and where is the nearest bridge?? (she says only half kidding) So what?...no one really cares? That answer is very clear. What is this?...Let's see how much stress they can handle??

The picture I posted on the post is Danny making the pool a wave pool!! What you can't tell by the picture is how hard MacKenzie was laughing! My husbands grace and patience inspires me beyond words..it always has. Now more than ever though. (the picture is after the stressful meeting today.)

Focus 2

Things went good yesterday at the surgeons office, they'll schedule something within the next week...

Came home and played with Mac in the pool, while I sat outside. Dinner, then they all went on bike ride, I got stuff done around the house.

We're having a hard time understanding people who still smoke around him? On the last family(his family) outing, everyone smoked around me...6 months pregnant..don't really know why? Even if you don't read, isn't there constant info on tv about smoking?? So...I suppose we should not be surprised when they smoke around him...but, I am. Why would you do that? Are you that dense?? These are questions yet to be answered...

Focus

Trying to distract myself today with housework, homeschool...later today is the consultation with the surgeon for the biopsy. Not fun stuff.

I know people mean well, but, they sure come out of the woodwork with ideas of instant healing..."take a teaspoon of red cloves you'll be healed in 9 weeks"...Really?? Cause I"m pretty sure if that were true, it'd be known..would be amazing if it were so..but...
I know that they're trying to be helpful and they're not trying to be insulting. (I'm trying to be nice here.)

Anyone who knows me, knows that I am well versed in the harmful chemicals in our foods, parabens and other toxins in products from baby lotion, shampoo, to make up. And as often as I can afford it, I make our purchases accordingly. Organic fruits whenever possible, and so on. I loathe microwaves, very picky about what we eat and put on our bodies. I tend to be the "odd" one of my husbands family. (something I'm VERY proud of, LOL) Clearly, they don't know us, like I thought.

That's ok, my focus (as my mom reminded me) is Danny, kids, baby, FUN, laughter, of course our relationship with God. HEALING.

Looking forward to the weekend..where that'll be the focus...FUN!!!

tuesday

Sun came out yesterday afternoon, got in the pool with MacKenzie..very nice, I weigh less in the water, LOL, so that's good. Had good dinner and Danny and the kids went on a bike ride.

Don't sleep very well, hard to get comfortable (baby's getting bigger) and with everything on my mind. So got up early with Danny...didn't go back to bed. Sooo, here it is 8:30am and I'm ready for a nap! Did some "research" this morning...that could also contribute to me wanting to go back to bed. It's all so overwhelming.

Ordered a book..Anti-cancer-a new way of life. Should get here today. Waiting to hear from medicaid..to see if we qualify (how could we not?)

My mom sent me a website today..this was the first story I clicked on...needless to say I cried..doesn't take alot these days..

Feel like I've been hit by a truck today..sorry if my thoughts aren't coming out smoothly on paper..hard to focus.

Is this the calm before the storm? Praying for a light storm...perhaps just a drizzle.

mondays

I love the weekend, places are closed on the weekend, everything and everybody is busy. Such nice distractions. Today is back to homeschool, and cleaning the house, it's cloudy and suppose to rain today..so won't get the distraction of being outside.

We all had a great weekend, very positive attitudes coming from both Danny and myself. We were outside alot..one of our favorite places to be. Swimming, bike riding and cookout with very good friends. Ate good this weekend as well..very light. Made some tea..green tea with ginseng.

Went to church yesterday..Rob(pastor) talked about interventions...and intervening on someones life...what if you're the one who needs the intervention?? Do you ask or pray for it??

We are very thankful for friends and family who are praying for Danny and our family. Please continue!!

Weekend

Rented Whimpy Kid movie last night..very funny, nice to laugh. This morning, hanging out with Danny and the kids. Discussed baby names this morning over pancake breakfast..thankful to have something fun to discuss. Although, some of the names were not appreciated...no, we don't want to name the baby Quinny the Pooh...(MacKenzie's idea)

Working on the house today...leaky faucet..stuff like that. Bike ride later..gotta look at my bike breaks...desperately need a new bike..that of course will have to wait. They go to Notre Dame all the time..I usually just don't go.

Danny and I are doing good with our thoughts and attitude, while the questions of next week loom over us. Wish it was just a bad dream and I'd wake up. We'll just take it piece by piece and get through it. Please continue to pray....ALOT. Perhaps post our name on your frig...as not to forget you know. ;-) We can feel them.

Starting homeschool

Well, we started homeschool early this week..mostly so we can take off when needed. Nice to know. Filled out papers and applications this week for my 15 year old to go to college! Good start..my 5th grader hasn't forgotten to much over the summer. We are big readers anyway.

Hard not to think about "things"...it crept into my dreams this morning. Not appreciated! Gotta boot that out. So very thankful for the friends and family that have emailed or posted thoughts and prayers coming our way.

Part of thankfulness is not complaining... so, I am so thankful for my husband..his attitude and faithfulness. So thankful for my kids who are much better people than I am. Thankful for our friends, for our family, for our church. Thankful, today I go grocery shopping! Thankful it's a gorgeous sunny day out. Thankful for the baby kicking me right now. (perhaps, some light at the end of the tunnel)

Mommie Blog

Well, I have to say, I wanted to start a new blog...a mommie blog. You know those ones where the stay at home mamma talks about her great kids all the time. Being pregnant at 38, with a 10 year old daughter and a soon to be 16 year old son. Thought it would be cool. You know being pregnant after basically 10 years of trying...or at least not, not trying, LOL. Six months pregnant a little nervous and quite irritated with family members who have paid absolutely no attention to the fact that we're pregnant. I had envisioned lovely luncheons and outings family calling me to do baby shopping and coffee...(decaf of course ;-) That of course, has yet to happen.

We've had major job and finance issues over the past year..LOL, longer I think. Seems to be one thing after another. But, nothing could have prepared me for what happened 2 days ago...we took my husband to the ER for what we thought was a hernia...it was not, we've been told he has lymphoma..they don't know what kind yet. More tests next week. How do you handle this? My husband who does everything for everybody..and asks nothing in return, my husband who is incredibly caring and sweet, who works out on a daily basis, not overweight, doesn't smoke...the words why and frankly "what the heck" come to mind. Not fair. Yes, yes, I know..that's what they say, life's not fair. Don't recall signing up for that?!

We have a positive attitude and outlook. (while of course being terrified). We have no insurance, very little money coming in...don't know whether to laugh or throw myself off a bridge at this point, LOL. We believe in the power of prayer..after all if more than 1 asks and asks together..He'll listen right?? So if you've read this far...(don't worry, I'm almost done ranting) Please pray for my husband, kids and maybe me if you have a minute. God hears us...I do prefer we be really LOUD though.

I didn't start this blog to whine..so don't be afraid to read again, started it to maybe keep myself sane during this awful time.